VT Indigo

Supporting you son or daughter when they are going to Higher Education

Although circumstances vary, this is a time when parents may well be experiencing their own difficulties in coping with, first, the idea and then the reality of their son or daughter leaving home for the first time.

There are some simple tips which parents in the same situation have, in the past, found useful to ease the transition process – for all the family. We have broken these down into four areas:

Emotional
Financial
Domestic
Social and support

Emotional

Try not to impose your views, feelings or fears onto them.
Encourage them to ring (or email) you regularly, but not to set expectations for this.
If they are homesick and ring back excessively, be there for them frequently – but not all the time or they will find adjusting to their new circumstances more difficult.
Be aware that the other children in your family have feelings about their brother or sister going away – take the time to chat to them about how the changes have affected them.
Check out our What we wish we had...! Section

I wish we had… !

“… Been more careful in teaching her how to budget.”

“… Taught him how to cook!”

“… Encouraged her not to come home so soon – she may have settled in quicker if she hadn’t kept popping home.”

“… Made decisions quicker as we would have had more time to sort out good accommodation.”

“… Known someone else who was going to the same place.”

“… Had a better idea of how much it costs – tuition fees, stationery, books, work experience fees, parking permits”.

“… Known how much more expensive and difficult it would be choosing a university so far away. We couldn’t just jump in the car and visit if we needed to”.

“… Thought more about the kind of work his degree could prepare him for. Our son spent nearly six months looking for a job after graduating. A course with more work experience might have helped to give him a better idea of the kind of thing he could do.”

Financial

Pay whatever necessary sum you can afford towards your son or daughter’s fees and accommodation as quickly as possible so as to avoid any gap in financial resources.
Help to set up a bank account if they do not yet have one.
Encourage them to take out the full amount of student loan since only one application can be made for this each year. They do not have to spend it. It is the cheapest form of borrowing and doesn’t have to start to be repaid (over a long period of time) until the April after graduation and then only when they are earning in excess of £15,000 per annum.
As necessary, help them to draw up a spending budget.
Remind them that Saturday jobs (with national employers) can be transferred to the area in which they will study (and back again in the vacations).
Help them to purchase any books and equipment necessary for their course.

Domestic

Encourage your son or daughter to plan ahead and not leave everything to the last minute
Be prepared to help them in securing accommodation – and in good time – as soon as they know where they will be studying. Accompany them to visit possible accommodation.

Give them any electrical goods and any other useful domestic items you no longer need.
Help them to buy essentials to set themselves up.
Check out our top ten Don’t Forget to Pack! section. link to text below

Don’t’ forget to pack…

Tissues
Cold remedy
Washing powder
Loo rolls
Stamps
First aid kit
Padlock and mini fridge if they can’t rent one
TV licence
Insurance
Iron

Social and support

Remind your son or daughter that there will be lots of new students at the new institution who will be going through the same process as them. In the first few days, it may well be that only new students are at the institution before the other years return.

Suggest that your son or daughter establishes how to gain access to all support services in case of need – doctor, dentist, counsellor, accommodation department etc.

Remind them that there are many clubs and societies where they can meet people with similar interests – but to beware of joining too many!